We Need A Holodeck!
by scubysnak
Summary: The gang has a little fun talking about Star Trek! CS mentioned


**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'em...though I wish I did! And if I did...the fun I could have!!!

The team was gathered around the break room bemoaning the fact that Sin City was seemingly taking a break.

Catherine was seated on the couch with her arm slung possessively over Sara's shoulders. Sara was reading a forensics journal—as was her custom to do whenever she had a break. Warrick and Nick were involved in some sort of "beat 'em up, bash 'em up" game on the PS2. Greg was listening to his IPod and finishing up some paperwork while Grissom was busy fondling his newest arachnid.

"What's this? You guys don't have any crimes to solve?" Jim Brass said as he shuffled into the crime lab break room.

"They should be looking for whoever made this horrible coffee," Sofia said as she plopped down on the couch next to Catherine.

"We should seriously consider asking Archie to requisition the necessary parts to build us our own little holodeck here at the lab," Greg said as he pulled his earbuds down and turned his IPod off.

"Wouldn't that be so cool? We'd be able to perfect how we gather evidence. We could put together different teams to see which combinations were most effective." Sara was now leaning forward on the couch. "I see real potential with this." She sighed heavily.

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Greg was jumping up and down like a monkey at the zoo. "I have an awesome idea. Let's all tell who we'd do on Star Trek."

Grissom looked up and over his glasses. "That's a little juvenile—even for you, Greg."

"He's probably never seen any series other than the original one, Greg. He'd have to pick Uhura," Sofia said as she chuckled and got a high-five from Catherine.

"Uhura is mine. Hands off, Griss. You'll have to find someone else," Warrick said as he turned around to join the conversation. "Uhura was one hot woman. I remember the first time I saw that show. Man…Grandma threatened to take the bedroom door off the hinges if I kept watching that show." Warrick was quickly lost in thought as Grissom just sat staring at him slack-jawed.

Sara put her magazine down and decided to join the conversation. "Who would you sleep with Greg?"

A smile lit up his face and he started to nod his head, "I'd sooooo do Data's sister!"

"Data didn't have a sister, you dork!" Nick pointed out.

"But if he did! For real man—imagine it. You could program her to do anything you wanted her to do. She would be an artificial life intelligence so she could do it **_all_** the time."

Nick shrugged before replying, "I see where you're going with this man. I do, seriously. But you've got to pick someone who was actually on the show. Your rules—ya gotta follow 'em."

"In that case, I'd choose Tasha Yar. You remember her? She was on TNG, but only for like the first season before they killed her off. She was one hot blonde. Those uniforms did wonders for her body."

Sofia spoke up, "The Next Generation was always my favorite, too. Worf….Have you seen the episodes where they talk about Klingon mating rituals? Klingon sex is incredibly rough…very physical. I'd take him to bed anytime."

Grissom shook his head, unsure if his hearing had suddenly decided to go hay-wire.

"I'm with you on that one. B'Elanna Torres was half Klingon. I think she was on Voyager. But most of the characters on those shows are just too old for my taste," Sara said as she was swatted on the arm by Catherine.

"You're gonna have to do better than that, Catherine, if you're trying to recreate Klingon mating rituals. In season two, episode 10…I think it was called "The Dauphin,"….Worf told Wesley Crusher that Klingon sex is the male reading love poetry while ducking furniture that the woman is throwing." Sofia turned a bright shade of red as she realized that she had not only been able to quote which season and which episode the line came from, but the title of the episode as well. "On the other hand," she started to add, "There was this Bajoran named Ensign Ro. She was feisty. I wouldn't protest too much if she wanted to take me to bed."

Sofia suddenly felt seven pairs of eyes on her. "What? We're talking hypothetically here. We're in the middle of space, who knows how far from the nearest good looking man and you're going to turn down Ro? I don't think so."

"How about you, Nick?" Greg asked as he waggled his eyebrows at the Texan.

"I'm with Sara and Sofia on the Klingon thing. But, there was something about Seven of Nine that…"

"That's the Borg, right?" Brass cut Nick off to confirm.

Nick had a Texas-sized grin stretched across his face as he nodded.

"She could assimilate me anytime," Brass said.

"Oh yeah! Resistance would definitely be futile with her!" Sara said, earning another swipe to the arm by Catherine.

Angry blue eyes flashed at Sara before turning towards Brass and asking, "Is that who you'd choose, Jim? A partially mechanized, formerly assimilated woman who's obviously had some work done—and I don't mean by the Collective, either."

"Me? No, Seven wouldn't be my first choice. I'm merely a man, though, and wouldn't turn down her company…if you know what I mean. Come to think of it, Ellie wouldn't have turned out the way she did if I had a Borg around." His smile made Catherine laugh. "I'd probably go with someone from the original series. You know, Roddenberry's wife was on several of the shows. She played a nurse on the first one though. So, I'd probably go with Nurse Chapel."

"Man, I've never heard of her," Warrick said.

"That's 'cause you were too, uh, enamored with Uhura to notice anyone else," Nick huffed arrogantly to Warrick.

"I remember her." Grissom took his glasses off and set them down on the table. "She was a very, uh, captivating woman. Nowhere near as captivating as Captain Janeway. Think about it. Lost in the Delta Quadrant with no foreseeable way to get home. She's a very strong woman. She turned a Borg human again," he said as he nodded toward Nick. "If she can do that, she can do anything."

Greg couldn't resist adding his thoughts, "Yeah, she could probably give Lady Heather a run for her money."

Catherine nearly doubled over in laughter as did the rest of the crew.

Grissom wasn't the least bit amused by her reaction to Greg's comment. "Lady Catherine, I don't believe you've shared with us yet. Who would sleep with?"

Catherine looked around the room at the expectant expressions on the faces of each of her friends. "Jean-Luc Picard is all man."

It was now Sara's turn to be bothered by what her lover was saying. "Excuse me?"

"Oh settle down, babe. He really is all man. He's a commanding figure. He was partially assimilated and then became human again. He went the extra mile for his crew. Not to mention the fact that he was French."

"I can't picture you…him…together." Sara crossed her arms over her chest and began to pout.

This earned a throaty laugh from Sofia. "You know, Catherine, Counselor Troi seems more your type," she said as she nodded in Sara's general direction.

Catherine considered this for a moment longer, "You're right. Someone who could anticipate my every thought…my every emotion…my every need….my every want….my every desire. Let's not forget that she's an attractive brunette."

"Oh please," Sara sat up and looked at Catherine. "Her head would literally explode if she got inside yours. An empath….hmmppphhh….that would just creep me out." She shrugged as if her skin was crawling.

Archie came running into the room. "You guys will never believe what I just found on eBay!!!"

"Directions to Hoffa's grave?" offered Jim

Catherine couldn't resist, "Amelia Earhart's airplane?"

"The fountain of youth?" Sara said as she looked sideways at Catherine.

Grissom had his hopes up as he asked, "_Heterologus langfordorum?__" _

"What the hell is that?" Sofia said as she looked at her former boss.

"It's an extinct …never mind. What did you find Archie?"

"Directions for a holodeck…"

"Hell yeah! Let me get my credit card," Sara said as she jumped up from the couch.


End file.
